[This is part 2 of the Chastity Journal, read part 1 here]
My life has totally changed. It has been almost two weeks since Mistress Petrana received my key in the mail and took full control over my life. I became Her property and gave Her the right to do whatever She wants with my life. It is extremely exciting to know that this magnificent Goddess holds my life in Her beautiful hands. All of my emotions and feelings have changed since then and I feel like a young boy going through puberty with all the feelings and crazy hormones.
It was not just the changes happening in my body of course – but more importantly the changes happening in my soul and in my mind. The psychological aspect is a very big part of chastity. Being owned by Mistress Petrana is extremely sexy and scary all at the same time. I had been dreaming about chastity and key holding for ages and now I have finally taken the step forward and I am super happy. I cannot describe with words how grateful I am to my new Owner that She decided to help me walk on this new path. With every single command She gives me I feel the exhilaration of the power exchange and dominance more and more. I feel like a little dog obediently and slavishly following my Mistress.
The first few days were without problem. I loved that She had taken control over my life and it was really exciting. I did not have any night erections and I slept without any problem. Everything seemed to be okay. However, suddenly after a few days my horniness came back full force. I had to face new feelings and experiences I had never felt before. My Mistress was well aware of that and She started teasing me verbally and visually in order to make me suffer even more… which only gave Her even more sadistic pleasure at my torment.
She really enjoyed my suffering and loved to see me in pain. She sent me a couple of Her super sexy photos with Her in leather because She knows all of my weaknesses. Every day was pure torture. I struggled with myself, with my emotions, and with the chastity belt. I started to become very frustrated and I longed for release. Every contact with Her, with Her orders, Her wishes, Her photos made me even weaker and weaker. I stopped being a man and became Her torture toy, existing only to suffer for Her sadistic pleasure. Now I had to face my sexuality in the deepest way possible. I was finally living the life that I had been dreaming about all these years and it was like a Pandora’s box. A mix of emotions and feelings like never before. I was just too weak to open it and look inside. My Mistress did that for me. She came to me every night in my dreams and I wanted masturbate inside my belt. But, it was way too painful and I even ended up hurting and bruising my penis… which was now the property of my Divine Goddess and Dominatrix, Mistress Petrana. It was like She was punishing me because I wanted to cheat. She had taken full control over me, my sexuality, and my life.
The next morning I asked My Owner if I could have permission to release myself. She was so cold. She ignored me for a few days and made me wait and suffer, which I am sure She really enjoyed doing. I did not want to bother Her by asking again so I suffered in silence for Her like a good slave. Knowing I was in pain and making me wait only gave Her even more sadistic pleasure. When She finally answered me, She ordered me to wait another two weeks without release so that my body could get used to the CB and She told me to just suffer quietly like a good slave and calm down. She was right of course. My personality and my sexuality have totally changed since then. I became even more addicted to Her than ever before. She got completely under my skin, into my soul, into my mind, and She totally controls me. My Divine Goddess Mistress Petrana is the only one who decides my life. I am now no longer a man. I am Her torture toy and personal property in every sense of the word.
To be continued…